| Location | Carrickfergus, Northern Ireland |
| Age | 16 years |
| Cause of Death | Drowning |
| Date of Birth | 03/06/1980 |
| Date of Death | 17/08/1996 |
| Visitors | 3,042 since 07/06/2006 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
Matthew was sixteen years old, when he drowned in Magheramorne Quarry, near Larne, on a sunny
Saturday afternoon, while out swimming with friends. It was the 17th August 1996, and he was
celebrating passing his G.C.S.E.s. He had planned to go to catering college,in September 1996, as he
had always wanted to be a chef,from he was very young.He was our eldest son. We have two other
children, Timothy,now 26, who was thirteen at the time, and Stephen, who was almost five years old,
and is now 18,
Matthew drowned at a local beauty spot, a dis-used quarry on the Antrim Coast. I had driven him
there, with five of his friends, at lunch time. The arrangement had been to collect them at a
quarter to five, that afternoon. When I arrived I found that the police had cordoned off the area.
All I could find out was that a young lad been hurt. I was asked to wait for further information.
For the next twenty minutes or so, “I watched and cried and waited". It was only when I spotted
one of Matthew’s friends, in a police-car, and plucked up the courage to approach him, and ask,
that I found out the full horror of what had happened. . . "My yells of disbelief,Echo round the
Quarry yet". . .
Despite the fact that the Quarry had taken our son, I found, and still find, it a place of beauty,
and peace. I feel particularly close to Matthew when I go there. This poem,called The Quarry, was
written following my first visit to the Quarry, by myself, after Matthew died.
There is a picture of the Quarry, with an inset of Matthew, in the Photo Gallery.
The Quarry
The reflections in the water;
The stillness in the air;
The towering cliffs around me;
The peace that I feel there;
The echo in the distance
Of a train that’s going by;
The sound of flapping wings
From a duck that’s taken flight.
The loud protest of hawks
In their nesting place on high;
The squabbling of birds,
As they circle in the sky;
The changing shapes of clouds,
With the sunlight peeping through;
The breezes on the lake,
Bring back memories of you.
There is laughter in the silence,
As I think about that day,
When death pounced on your life,
And God took you away.
I am trying to imagine
Being with you and your friends,
To experience the joy
Of those hours before the end.
The banter, the excitement,
The squeals of sheer delight,
As each one held their breath
And then jumped from such a height!
The pure exhilaration,
The buzz and all that thrill
You must have felt, each time you leapt
In the water’s icy chill.
And then I hear the panic,
The terror, and the sound
Of total desolation,
At the moment you were drowned.
I recall that awful moment,
When I came to take you home
“A young lad has been hurt “, they said;
“What happened we don’t know".
I watched, and cried, and waited,
And by-standers did implore;
But in the end, I asked your friend,
And found you were no more.
My yells of disbelief
Echo round the quarry yet.
Our lives have changed for ever,
Now you’ve gone, and can’t come back.
Now it’s evening in the Quarry,
And the sunset lights the sky.
I can sense your spirit near me,
And the feeling makes me cry.
But I pray to God in Heaven
At the spot, your body lay;
And I’m sure that you are happy,
Looking down on us today.
By Ursula Gates
18th November 1996.
✿♥✿♥✿✿♥✿♥✿ ✿♥✿♥✿✿♥✿♥✿
Love is a fabric that never fades,
no matter how often it is washed
in the waters of adversity and grief.
(Anon.)
~FOREVER LOVED~
✿♥✿♥✿✿♥✿♥✿ ✿♥✿♥✿✿♥✿♥✿
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┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ✿
┊ ┊┊ ✿✿FOR SOMEONE
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┊ ✿✿WHO IS
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✿VERY SPECIAL
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REST IN PEACE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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Thank You
Ursula you are a comfort to me always and I thank you for sharing yourself with me in this sad time for both of us. Thank you again Matthew for guiding your wonderful Mum my way. I was thinking of you most of the day on Monday and hoping you were somewhere that would give you peace and time for reflection. It does not get easier with time.
God Bless your family. love from B
We never really die
'A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam.
For a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world. But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky just to have seen it'.
You are in my thoughts Ursula along with your family. Your friend B ~ Mum to Mark L.
❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿
_____*hug*___*hug*__ __*h ug*___*hug*____
___*hug*______*hug*_ *hug*_______*hug*__
__*hug*__________*hug*__________*hug*__
__*hug*________________________*hug*___
___*hug*_________ _A__________*hug*____
____*hug________SPECIAL_____*hug*_____
______*hug*______ANGEL____*hug*_______
________*hug*_______ _____*hug*_________
__________*hug*_____ ___*hug*___________
____________*hug*__ __*hug*_____________
______________*hug*_ *hug*______________
_________________*hug*________________
❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿
So sorry for your sad loss ..even after all these years it must still be a nightmare for you .. My thoughts are with you and your family.. God Bless you all xx
REASSURANCE - August 2006; A Poem of Hope,for Matthew,from Mum.
REASSURANCE
In the sudden burst of sunlight
on a dark and dreary day,
Or the brightly coloured rainbow,
When the sky is dull and grey;
In the shifting mists and shadows
On the mountains and the sea,
When the busy world is hushed,
I know you’re here with me.
You smile at me in snowdrops,
You whisper in the trees;
Your laughter lilts in daffodils,
That dance upon the breeze.
I remember, when there’s music
In the melodies I hear,
That you are very close to me,
That you are very near.
Your voice is in the birdsong
Every morning when I rise;
Your essence,
In the air that I breathe;
The clear blue sky reminds me
Of the colour of your eyes;
Your tears are in the rain,
And storm at sea.
In the bloom of the laburnum
Are your locks of golden hair;
In the butterfly
Your soul has taken wing.
In the purple shades of evening,
When there’s silence everywhere,
Is the promise of the joy,
That Heaven brings.
You’re mirrored in the moonbeam
As it shines across the lake;
Your fingers touch me,
In the falling snow;
You’re here inside my heart
Every moment I’m awake;
You’re my source of inspiration
As I go.
There’s a warm and lovely feeling
When the wind is in my face;
There’s a gentle reassurance
In my soul,
That you, my precious son,
Are in a far, far better place,
Where hope springs eternal
In fields of gold.
And my spirit is uplifted
As your memories flood my mind,
By the certainty
Of seeing you again.
In my life there is contentment,
There is reason, and there’s rhyme,
And I thank God for the blessings
That remain.
By Ursula Gates
August 2006
Life Beyond
From B Marks Mum - a friend to Ursula Mum of Matthew
Care for your loved one as you always have
Let them go, but not completely.
Hold onto them, but not too tightly.
Love them as you know you will..as you always have
Rejoice that they are well, the only difference
now is that you can not see them.
But you feel them still
and they will always be with you.
The spirit does not die as the body dies
and Love is of the spirit.
Nothing you have experienced together
can be taken from you
and your loved one shall be eternally yours
in that love.
Weep not too long, that they may also cry.
But rejoice in their life and in yours also.
Let yours continue to be a celebration of all life
of your shared love....
knowing that God holds you both
in the palm of his hand
and in loving you both, shall reunite you.
(We were given this by a dear friend I do not know who wrote it but we used it at Mark's funeral)
The Anniversary
You have thought for many reflective hours,
When to my grave, have brought me flowers,
But grieve not there, when it's me you miss,
Instead find peace in the meaning of this.
Where you remember me, how can I be gone?
There in your heart, I shall live on.
I can return and to you can give,
From within my memories, so let me live.
To the valley of your mind, let me arrive,
Where I did not die and am still alive.
On this anniversary, please do not weep,
For I still live on, in the memories you keep.
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